Texting Tips For Tiger

As we've painfully learned from the media, in the case of Tiger Woods vs. the alleged gals that are coming out of every nook and cranny with saved voice mails, a text message might have been a safer way to go.

Here's a few texting tips for Tiger:

If you're going to contact your girlfriends, don't leave recorded messages or FB updates that can be later held against you.

And definitely don't leave panicked messages about your wife, on your girlfriends voice mail! Instead, send her a text message. This way, your voice won't be able to be compared against your actual voice by the media (and heard around the world by just about everyone) just to be sure it's really your voice.

Text your inappropriate messages appropriately so you don't get busted.

Make up your own secret text lingo that no one understands but you and your gal pals. This way, your code won't be broken by your loved ones.

Don't risk sexting with your gals - a picture says a thousand words you DON'T want to hear.

Don't use your girlfriends real names in your address book, so your loved ones can easily find them. Names like Bambi, Lola or Bubbles are dead give aways. Think about changing their names to George, Louis or Thomas. What woman would Read Between the Lines with those names?

Seriously, don't try any of this at home - it's not worth it.

Instead, love the one you're with and keep those helicopters that are circling your home 24/7 away... you're just too good to be in the middle of all the crap!